Lessons from a “bad trip” on 🍄Mushrooms.
San Fran, CA.
Suggested Spotify playlist soundtrack to tune in into this article: Starting with Woods by Mac Miller.
It all started with my girlfriend Alejandra and I on a“chilling mood ” evening, smoking weed and watching Mac Miller videos on our TV set. We played one of his last live performances at NPR Tiny desk studio (high AF) and discovered his cool orange hat. He had a powerful mantra on it….
“Don’t Trip.”
We continued our conversation with laughter recognizing there must be some wisdom behind this. From what I can tell Mac Miller was always at the edge of life or death with drugs, just by listening to his lyrics I could perceive he was going through some dark times. Finally we were a bit shocked about how he committed suicide on September 2019, such a fragile soul. That evening we encapsulated the moment by saying:
“ Yeah, there’s not such a thing as “bad” trips. But confrontation of your current reality through the wrong angle.”
…Time passed by
After experiencing a recent mushroom trip which I’m about to tell you this statement evolved. There’s new death-serious reality for me:
Psychedelics like Mushrooms can open and change your mind for “good” or can completely transform your current reality and belief systems. 🤯
There is such a thing as “bad trips” if you don’t have certain precautions while experiencing psychedelics. Things can go side ways.
This isn’t bad or good. It’s just what it is.
Alejandra and I have already done mushrooms in the past with powerful and positive experiences.. now I realize we must respect and revere psychedelics. 🙌 🍄
So we smile at each other when we remember Mac or the saying “don’t trip”.
So well, thanks for the advice Mac.… and the story goes…
On a cool sunny San Francisco Saturday on an urban pilgrimage to the majestic Dolores park on February 8th, 2020 I was navigating through the neighbourhood and found a magazine on the floor. This had picture of a house with the headline “Psychedelic Therapy”. For some reason, I was completely fascinated by it and took it like a bandit. 😆
I bought a Sapporo beer, a bag of chips, got my Hybrid vape with THC 83% and headed up to the highlands of the park.
The magazines main juice was in regards of a recent psychedelic research trial performed by John Hopkins university about how micro-dosing psylocibin treatment was going to fundamentally change what we know about our mind and disrupt the mental health space. Specifically treating addictions, severe depressions and people with terminal cancer.
I thought something like :
“That’s rad and some progressive shit, I love it.. if this comes true for society the whole world will benefit and transform because of this. ”
Also, we now know that the city of Oakland just decriminalized the use of mushrooms. I think this already kickstarted a new psychedelics movement just like the hippie movement in 1960s and 70s with the use of LSD. ☮️✌️
I discovered more cool things about Michael Pollan’s latest journalist investigation. He documented how in history, scientific brain facts, shamans & healers and underground community worked and used Psilocybin. He published a book in 2018 “How to Change your mind -What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence”. He interviewed a lot of people who had psychedelics experiences and all of them remarked that it was one of the most transformative life events they have had.
Then I decided to continue my trip with more introspection. I started to smoke more regularly on my evenings after work and going on my afternoon to Dolores park looking for inspiration. After contemplating a few things in my life I thought:
“I’ve got to go on another mushroom journey. I’m reaching my 30 years soon. I’m happy with how things are with my life but I want to ask more questions to myself. Life is by design and the quality of you inner questioning.”
On the second weekend of my trip, I went to a workshop-retreat at the Zen Civic Center, the topic being: “The Art of Not Taking Oneself Too Seriously” imparted by two interesting teachers.
Moshe Cohen taught us: How to use comedy and play with your situation and emotions to learn more about yourself.
Anshi Zachary Smith shared a couple immutable zen principles and on how to deal with grief, death and “demons”.
At the workshop I met a wonderful lady whom I shared a great vibe with. We talked about psychedelics and she shared how in Berkley area there is an underground community of people dedicated to babysitting you while you are on a psychedelic trip. I told her: “Wow, thats very cool” She said: “Thats a dream job right there.” She also said:
“On this side of the city (San Fran) lies the doers and on the other side (Berkley area) lie the thinkers”
I just continued my trip and a few days later I began searching for this Berkley community with no real success. I see it truly is underground. LOL.
I asked a few of my local friends about mushrooms dealers but for some crazy reason they weren’t able to help me. It was up to me to set the intention and find them.
Mushroom Hunting
Somehow it was a bit simple to figure out where to find them. Once you been around the city enough and experience different vibes you just know where to start. I thought to myself:
“Lets go to the most bohemian neighbourhood in the city and you might find it there”
So I did.
Naive Hector (myself) went to Haight st and visited several vape shops asking for mushrooms. People reacted strange as if I was asking something illegal. I just assumed that it was as relaxed as in Canada and people are very open about it.
I kept walking down Haight street and found a colourful store. 👉 You just know when you see it. As some of you know psychedelics offer you lots of colors, patterns, figures and a certain vibe. I walked in the store.
I engaged with the lady working at the store and she even sat down in a sofa to start a chat. Very welcoming person. Suddenly my eye caught a piece of Huichol art hanging on the wall (Mexican prehispanic culture). I started the conversation around that piece of art and asked if she knew about Huicholes (Wixáritaris) world’s cosmovision. We had a good connection. I purchased from her two colourful pattern bracelets and then jumped to the question:
“ Do you know where I can get mushrooms?”
Awkward….again… it was a very sensible topic,… trading or selling mushrooms.
She replied: “ We don’t sell those thing here, but if you really want them manifest it and they will come.”
I replied: “Okay I will do so.”
Not long after I continued my hunting journey. A few blocks down an old man with rugged clothes reached out to me and asked me if I wanted some LSD. I said:” No man, I’m looking for mushrooms” (Very confident about my request). He replied: “oh.” He shouted at another guy saying: “ Brian! Do you know who has mushrooms?” Then Brian responded: “Yes, is a guy at the corner 2 blocks away.” F*yeah.
The man walked me and negotiated the price on the go.“ Do you want the full dose or half dose?” I answered confidently: “Full dose” “Alright, wait here.” Suddenly a police car passed by, I was getting nervous. I kept waiting a few more minutes and there he was, infront of me with 3 thick mushrooms. 🍄 🍄 🍄 Yisus Hector.
Pause.
Suggested soundtrack to tune in into this section: Hands — Mac Miller
The Hike
Mission accomplished on Friday night.
On my first Mushroom trip, back in 2017 I had a complete transformational experience. It changed me for good. It recalibrate my life’s purpose. I decided to copy and pasted my tripping formula this time around:
1. Go solo to a natural & magical place. 2. Consume Mushrooms early in the morning. 3. Get few supplies like: water, food, GPS, music. 4. Be chill 🧘♂️ and surrender to the mushrooms. 🙏
I set everything to go to John Muir Woods National Park. Here’s a map of the actual distance from San Francisco. It’s important to mention the logistics of the trip because shit got out of control. My goal was to get from the park to the Stinson beach, about 3:30 hour hike.
First I arrived to Marin city station by bus and decided to take a Lyft all the way to the park. At the station I met a young czech guy whose intention aligned with mine, a solo hike. We shared the lyft. We had a pretty cool conversation with the Indian driver who spoke 7 languages.
I went with the flow. We started the trek and talked about life, SF, traveling..… and having such a good conversation… At the back of my head I was like:
“Fuck, okay, I need to tell him about my mushroom trip so I can find a spot and part ways.”
I kept walking with active listening, enjoying nature and suddenly then a crystal clear revelation fell on me about why him and me where here. He revealed his life insecurities, family pain and struggle at school practicing public speaking with nervousness.
He had the intention to start meditating but didn’t have the right time, teacher or environment to do so...
“Let’s stop right here. Lets experience mindfulness right now a superpower available anytime you need it.”
I continued:
“Drop your bag take a deep breath and start to be conscious about you breathing and surroundings.”
We performed 10 min standing meditation, with 15 cycles of long breaths. We were in the middle of the woods connecting with our breathing. He was marvelled by the calmness. We continued our hike together to the beach. I decided to flow with the wind and the vibe.
We arrived at Stinson beach. We gave each other a hug and a farewell to continue my path.
Saying Goodbye to my old self chewing Mushrooms.
Suggested soundtrack to tune in into this article: -One More Year — Tame Impala
Journey begins. I started walking along the beach with good music and without a fixed direction. Exploring mode. Enjoying the breeze, sun, sand, water, walking barefoot and being in the present moment. I calculated the time mushrooms were gonna hit. I walked like Jack Keroak on the road. I practiced some bouldering trying to imitate some Cali guys to get the top but there were some serious rocks to climb.
45min after chewing those shrooms I started to panic a bit saying, “Hector, damn, you better get to a safe spot soon. Otherwise you will start getting hallucinations and you are going to get a good “putazo” (getting injured in Spanish) playing around with these rocks. “ 🧗♂️
I found what I call a good spot by Red Rock Beach. It happened to be a nude beach. So I was like oh yeah. “Como mi madre me trajo al mundo”. (Translation: Just like my mother brought me to this world)
(If you see that nude man standing I was exactly on spot. This photo credit is for a guy who uploaded it on Google maps)
I went nude. Prepared my playlist which had some of the ones you’re listening to right now.
I had the first two amazing hours.
Peak moments I experienced:
- I watched the Pacific ocean full of color and flashes of light. Having a blast watching the sun, sand, rocks and water reflection. ☀️🌊✨
- My body got completely serene and relaxed. Feeling one with my body.🧘♂️
- I listened to Tame Impala newest album, “The Slow Rush” I seemed to understand what Kevin Parker was going though emotionally on each song and how his music also has some psychedelics tone to it. I could appreciate it way better. Beats and sounds. Beats and Sounds. Beat and Sounds. 🎹
- I recognized my great connection with my partner Alejandra and my heart beat reaffirmed it. 💑
- I understood the underpinnings in California’s culture and vibe. ⚡✌️Why and how they are so bold and fearless. Very unique aspect.
- Ego dissolved. I expanded consciousness.
“We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.”
However, after these 2 hours….there was a deep sense of disturbance subtly arising .
I was in discovery mode with no real questioning or intention. I solved most of my life future scenarios just one day before while smoking weed.
I could say I was just on a spaceship to now-where and with no actual support to keep me grounded.
Randomness and Unbearable reality kicked in
Things started to shift to a dark side. It was getting late. The swell was coming up and I was half naked without shoes and unable to take the best rational decisions.
Gnarly Moments :
- I perceived myself as an alien. I was out of myself but in a human body. I didn't quite understand why I had legs or arms.
- Tripping bad. I was recreating in my head repeating scenario over and over again. Like a broken record and just couldn’t get out. haaaaaaaaaaaa 😟
- A saw other people coming and going but felt they were aliens too doing their thing. I fell on a matrix.
Sunset began. Most of the people had left.
There was one last couple on the beach, they perceived me. Helpless. I started walking without any direction all over the place until I found some rocks trying to grab a hold of myself . The man approached me: “Are you okay man?” I replied: “I’m not okay.”
I remember this guy talking with her girlfriend for 1 min about my situation, for me it seemed like forever. He came through the rocks and helped me. “Let me get your shoes. Where is your stuff?” I pointed out where.
I was still tripping but a getting back to “normal”. I walked with him to get my belongings. He helped with my shoes and assisted me on getting to the highway.
I reached the highway at the top of the cliff and started walking on the roadside. I was getting back to feeling good and felt happy that I was getting off the “bad trip”. I felt trapped forever. 😅
It was getting dark. I didn’t know what to do but I was happy. I was living in the hype moment back again. I began asking for for a ride with my finger but nobody was able to give me one.
A Californian police officer driving by saw me and pulled me over. He inspected and asked me if I had more substances in my bag. I started to freak out and was stuttering. He performed a lot of checkup tests to see if I was able to handle myself.
The hallucination stage was over. I was highly perceptive as I observed everything going on. I watched the beautiful sunset while the officer was performing the last examination of dilated pupils.
After around hour passed by… He said: “Alright boy, you’re good to go. Please don’t uses this substances like this.” He drove me back to the bus station. I called my friend Diego and he helped me get back to town getting me a Lyft.
Post Lessons after the trip:
1. Poke the universe. I learned to be bold & influence my world full of possibilities.
2. My frequency manifests my reality. Being acute & conscious of my thoughts, words and actions.
3. We are infinitely complex and fragile humans. Navigate carefully caring for our subconscious wounds.
Conclusion
We all have superpowers. We are the answer to all of our questions. You don’t need psychedelics to figure things out every time. Existential questioning will continue up until our last day.
I came to realized that by sharpening and connecting our intuition with open deep awareness is a better compass to navigate our depths. Opening the heart to allow all sensations to come by will provide healing or awakening we were looking for.
I was reckless as of how I pushed my limits with mushrooms by going solo. It’s important to care about the setting, just like our ancestors who discovered these powers performed rituals. They thought out every single detail, the place and time. We can learn from them the respect they had for these substances and our connection with nature. They gathered in groups commonly having someone to guide them a person with more knowledge.
Don’t be a fool. Don’t trip.
Thanks to: Alejandra, Mac, Zen teachers, retreat lady, Kevin Parker, couple at the beach, Police officer, Diego.. and all compassionate beings otherwise I wouldn’t experience it like this.
